The difference between a counterfeit dollar and an anorexic prostit*te
is that a fake dollar is a phony buck.

A woman strode angrily into the large drug-store/general-store,
slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her
dissatisfaction. The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your
cat eat them?" The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered, "Do
you mean to tell me that 'Pus*y Treats' are meant for 'cats'?"


Once upon a time, there was a sperm named George who lived inside a
famous movie actor. George was a very healthy sperm. He'd do push ups
and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other
sperm just lazed around doing nothing. One day, one of the sperm
questioned George and asked why he exercised all day. George
explained, "Look pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant, and when
the right time comes, I'm gonna be that one sperm!" A few days later,
all the sperm could feel themselves getting hotter and hotter. They
knew the big swim was imminent. Moments later, they were released
abruptly and, sure enough, George was swimming far ahead of all the
others. Suddenly, George stopped in his tracks, turned around, and
began to swim back with all his might. "Go back! Go back!" he
hollered, "It's a blow job!"

An old couple were sitting in their rocking chairs on the verandah and
the old guy leaned over and said to the woman "Fuck you". She rocked
back and forth for a bit then leaned to him and said "Fuck you too".
They rocked on in silence and some 10 minutes later she leaned over
and said "I don't think much of this oral sex, do you?"

The typical male's idea of foreplay is a half hour of begging.