This guy comes back home from work to find his wife has left him a
note "Off to the grocery store." He hasn't been *getting any* from
her, so he decides this is his chance and goes to the video store to
rent a p*rn flick. He puts the video in, and starts m*sturbating.
He's about to climax when all of a sudden his wife comes in, drops
her grocery bags, runs over and gives him the bl*w job of his life.
Then she collects all the bags and goes to the kitchen. The guy is
sitting there, stunned, amazed at what just happened. After a couple
of minutes he regroups and goes to the kitchen where he finds his
wife chopping tomatoes. He asks her: "We haven't had sex for over
five years and all of a sudden you come in. What happened?!". To
which his wife replied: "I just washed the floor this morning. I
would rather go brush my teeth than to have to clean the floor again."

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a
fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea. When the host
answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and
no socks on just a pair of pants. "What the hell are you supposed to
be?" asked the host. "A pr*mature ejac*lation." said the man, "I just
came in my pants!"

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from
town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from
town. Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the
boy. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a
h*oker and I charge $20 for s*x," she said. The boy just looked at
her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they
did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the
driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?"
asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm
actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

Little Artie, aged 8, was walking through the school corridor in an
indecently exposed condition. The school principal stopped him and
asked for an explanation. "It ain't my idea," spoke up Artie, "I
raised my hand in class this morning, and the teacher asked me to
stick it out until lunch period."

A guy gets caught cheating on his Ole Lady. He admits to his Ole Lady
that he was cheating on her, but tells her that he was thinking of
only her the whole time. "You miss me that much?" she asks. He says,
"It kept me from coming too fast."

What is a man's ultimate embarrassment?
Running into a wall with an er*ction and breaking his nose.

I have some neighbors that are l*sbians and they have a child. It
occurred to me that in this day of age of increasing l*sbian couples
that have children, it brings a whole new meaning to one kid taunting
another when he says "My Mom can lick your Mom any time."

Calling on an attractive coed, the theology professor asked, "Who was
the first man?" "If it's all the same to you, sir," replied the
embarrassed coed, "I'd rather not tell."

Till next time,keep LOLling.